Hope!

We got a reply from a church! A very positive reply. Possibly even me working part time at the church. I was up half the night just thinking about working. I won't do it if it means putting the girls in daycare. I know we might be weird about that, but long before we were married, Daniel and I decided that one of us would be home with our children. It's really important to us. I love being a stay at home Mommy. I'm not sure how I would feel about doing something else. Hopefully, I'll have more great news in the future, but for now, just pray for direction and peace and clarity.

The Wait...

Now is when my faith is really tested. It was easy to say I was trusting God to provide for us when we were still getting severance pay, but now is when the "rubber hits the road." Now we have no money coming in, haven't heard back from any churches... well two, but I'll talk about them later. Now is when trust really comes in to play. Now is when my doubt is really trying to take over. Now it's not a weekly reminder or even a daily reminder of God being in control. Now it's a minute by minute reminder. Every time I think about it, I have to tell myself God is in control. And I must admit, I'm failing some minutes. More than some, I'm failing quite a few minutes. My head knows God is in control. My head knows he's going to take care of us. Deep down, my heart knows it's true, but getting them to match up is not working so well.

We've had a lot of wonderful conversations with different pastors. Unfortunately, none of them are looking for full time youth pastors. One in particular sounded just perfect for us. Daniel called and the pastor told us it was just a volunteer position now. But then, they proceeded to talk for 30 minutes. They found out they have the exact same vision for youth ministry. They ended the call with prayer and we thought that was the end of it. Great church, going through hard time and sadly not for us. We got a call the next day. It was the pastor asking what it would take to bring Daniel to the church monetarily, not that they could do it... just out of curiosity. We figured it out and called and he said, yeah, there was no way they could even come close to that. But, he ended it by saying there was a bunch of people praying about it. So if you think about it pray for the church. It's going through a hard time, but sounds like a wonderful place. God works in amazing ways. Who knows what might come from this.

Another pastor we talked to only had a part time position available right now. But he really liked Daniel and asked for his resume to hold onto and pass it out if he heard anything. Again, who knows what doors God might open through that.

God's working... honestly, not how I think He should be working. But... He created the universe. He keeps the universe going. Absolutely everything that is going on is because He knows what He's doing. If I was in control, everything would fall apart. Everything. I can't keep my laundry up to date, there's no way I could keep the world up to date. Why do I think I know what's best for my life? Because I'm me... still trying to learn my lessons... and waiting...